SWEET.bitter.JOY.sad.LUV.hate

LATEST EVENT: Celebrating Haslam 27th Birthday!!

2009-12-14T06:32:00.000-08:00

the birthday was on 13th and we did celebrate it at his workplace. eventho not on his working shift, but he did a few tasks for the staff's telematch. and the HIS is refer to Haslam, my friend and a husband of my friend (also), Siti.. hik hik..

penonton budiman

tradition - kena tolak dlm kolam

anyway bro, happy birthday. have a blessed year ahead. cepat2 dpt anak, okeh...

MISS YOU

2009-12-14T06:18:00.001-08:00

Hello my Mr. Bloggie..
it has been a very looooong time i left u, again.. almost 6 months, dear. i'm sorry.. malas & lalai lagi.. hah...

lepas aktiviti bercuti di persisiran pantai itu, i did spend most of my time with chu (his aunt).. my routine is TEMERLOH - K.LIPIS - TEMERLOH - K.LUMPUR - PUTRAJAYA - SHAH ALAM - TEMERLOH - K.LUMPUR dan begitulah seterusnya sehingga our dear chu fly back to Bordauex, Fr. Missing her a lot at this moment since we did share a lot. Miss her laugh, her jokes, her advices.. hahhhhh

skool as usual. nothing much to tell. projects - i'm still the emcee almost for all events at skool. tired but i love it.

pupils still the same. i still can't grab their interest in learning. will trying my best to improve teaching skills. hah, i hope one day they will realize the importance of education in our life.

holidays? GREAT!!! - i'm broke at the beginning of holidays but lucky me, the OUM paid the claim in the end of November.. so wat else? shopping again!!! NO VACATION this holidays. its just hangoutings with him & friends. im looking forward to have a few gathering with my beloved bro & sis of Phamily Potraite and IPBArians.. but till now, we still don;t decide any date. hahhh..

missing all those good old days....

FUUHHH.BUT YEEEHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

2009-06-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

Haha… after a few hectic days… I went for a vacation at Swiss Garden Resort & Spa Kuantan. It was a sponsored vacation actually but I really had a great time there.

We left for Kuantan around 2.30p.m. Checked in around 4.30p.m but the rooms still not ready. Lepas bising2 dekat reception tu, dapat la biliks dalam kul 5. Had our light teabreak.. ice lemon tea and sandwiches.. went down to the beach for photo snapping. Swiss Garden is a real great vacation spot. Believe me.

Had our dinner at Tanjung Lumpur. Balik bilik for a short break. Tgk show dekat Malibu Pub, owned by the resort. Balik tido.

Esoknye breakfast. The rest went for spa and we went for shopping @ the town. Balik Swiss Garden,dinner dengan seafood lagi. Ke Malibu Pub lagi dan tido lagi..

Breakfast lagi, nap sikit, packing and check out…

Fun, tired but worth!!

Oh Dato'...

2009-06-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve been interviewed by Dato’ SOMEBODY SOMEBODY of SPP on 11th… before met him for interview, the staff told me that “Dato’ ni bukan takat baik tapi baik sangat”

Lega jugak la dengar. The earlier candidates told me “Dato’ tu ajak berborak je”… Fuh.. another lega…

The time comes… he asked me to introduce myself. I always remember what Punitha told me “Don’t forget to mention SK Betau, Orang Asli school. So that u’ll get questions - all about the school.”

Tq Puni. Idea tu menjadi!! Tapi aku rasa Dato’ tu pun dah bosan jugak. Ye la.. bape ramai dia nak soal.. dah dia tanya macam2, akhirnya dia Tanya – “Apa perbezaan orang Melayu dengan Orang Asli? Eh, ade ke plk soalan macam tu ye. Hmm.. ape bezanye?”. Tapi baru je aku jawab separuh, dia dah bukak cite lain…

eh, aku interview ko ke ko interview aku nih?

ARAHAN BERTUGAS WALAU HATI BERAT

2009-06-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

I decided to go to school on 10th, a day before my interview date. Aku tak percaya the clerk will send me the document at Temerloh..

But on 9th, the headmaster called – “where are you? Can u come to PKG Lipis tomorrow?”

“Saya dekat Temerloh, cikgu. Memang nak pegi sekolah esok, nak amik Kew8. dah janji dengan N***. Nak buat ape cikgu?”

“Slide presentation kita untuk delegasi komanwel tak boleh pakai pulak. Diorang suruh buat baru. Boleh tak bagitau Punitha sekali? Esok pegi PKG Lipis pukul 8.30 pagi”

Ape gile nak pegi pukul 8.30… aku nak bertolak kul bp?

“Ermm, lambat sikit boleh cikgu? Saya bertolak paling awal dari sini pukul 7.” – lembut terus lidah bila cakap ngan bos…

“Ok. Paling lewat pun pukul 930, ok”…

Saya menurut perintah, cikgu.

The school will be visited by the Education Ministers of Commonwealth Countries. They will come on 12th. The Boss asked me to be the emcee of the day cum the receptionist… konon2 spoke person for the school la… padahal aku dah awal2 plan a vacation on the said date.. hehe..

Lepas je tunggu kerani lembap tu (aku ni dr Tloh bole sampai ke Betau at 845am. Dia yang dari Koyan ke Betau pun sampai 930am. Tau la pengantin baru, bro..), dapatkan my Kew8, terus je jumpa Punitha and Kak Ieja kat Masjid Koyan and head to PKG Lipis, another 51km from my school. Best kan.

As soon as we reach the said location, orang tu kata presentation tu kena buat semula. Ape gile!! Benda yang simple tu dijadikan rumit sebab orang atasan jabatan negeri nak tengok dulu sebelum event tu…

Amboi, time kitorang buat dulu, korang biarkan je ye.. bila orang atas nak tengok, baru nak reject la, gambar tak jelas la, suara tak kuar la…

Dalam keterpaksaan… dengan penat jerih dan makian di dalam hati, ku redah jua hari itu dengan menyiapkan slides… dah siap slides, buat recording pulakkkkkkk…

Dalam keterpaksaan jugak, aku tinggalkan Punitha & Kak Ieja pada jam 5.30 petang untuk selesaikan final stage dengan Ustaz Yusran sebab aku memerlukan masa 2 jam untuk sampai ke rumah dan menghadiri temuduga perlantikan itu pada jam 730 pagi hari berikutnya….

Tapi esoknya, diorang kena edit lagi presentation slides tu dan katanya diorang berjaga sampai 5 pagi.. tapi time tu aku dah siap temuduga dan sedang bersenang lenang bercuti….

ARRRGGHHH......

2009-06-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

The interview is just around the corner but I still can’t get my only document from the school’s clerk. Mr., I know u are on wedding leave but please do your job man…

SHOPPING TIMEEEEE

2009-06-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

This is what I’m waiting for. Shopping again.

I went to GM Plaza to buy few gifts for my pupils and few brooches for me. Hah, I missed the bag that I dream of. Tak pe la, lain kali datang lagi.

Memborong kain dekat Jakel sampai nak muflis rasanye. Rambang mata melihatkan kain2 canthek sedangkan aku baru je ambik 5 pasang baju yang dah siap. Ape jenis nafsu la perempuan nih..

Pegi Nagoya, shop for curtain. Aku tak faham kenapa perempuan punya tenaga yang sangat luar biasa time shopping.

Dah sakit kaki, lepak kejap kat Sogo. Lunch. Tapi bila dah tambah gula, aktif balik le…

Eventhough Sogo is not really my choice for shopping… tapi sempat jugak la sambar 1 blouse EIC. Dan yang lebih menarik, my sis willing to pay it…

Penat untuk kali kedua, hari pun dah gelap… head to Temerloh.

Sampai rumah, unload barang, tak sangka my car can load all those things!!

31st MAY @ Betau

2009-06-27T19:26:00.000-07:00

The school held extra classes for Year 6 pupils. As I’m in UPSR team, I have to join the teachers conducting the classes. It is ok for me even though I have to drive 150km to the school but the coordinator said I have to stay at Betau for a night. What?!

Mana pergi semua warden & PPM (Pembantu Pengurusan Murid)? Katanya warden juga nak bercuti & since it was Sunday, the PPM was still at kampong.

Kak Ita texted me on Saturday said that I have to conduct classes for 31st and 1st June + a nite stay at Betau. Hah.. wat a plan. We had decided that teachers from local area will stay at nite and my class will be on 1st June. Tak suka, tak suka!!

I left my home at 11.00am. Punitha (who has to conduct another class but we are in the same session) called told that whether I can fetch her at Raub because she had serious stomachache and can’t drive. Of course I can Puni. At least I won’t talk to myself alone in the car.

We reached the school around 1.30pm and the class starts at 2.00pm.

After the class, I went back to my house at Kuala Medang. Had a nap. Tapau for dinner and Betau, here I come.

A nite at Betau - It’s a new experience for me.

It is a rural Orang Asli area. I heard a lot but this is my responsibility towards my profession and the pupils. (HEHE) We held another extra class that nite and had a tight sleep until I missed my Subh and we are late for morning session class.. haha…

Oh, I got my appointment’s interview date – 11th June 2009. The date that I’ll fly for vacation.. duhh!!

GRAD AGAIN...

2009-06-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

Hmm… congratulation to me on my 3rd convocation day.

Bukan la nak menayang dah berapa kali konvo tapi asyik kena perli sebab konvo dah banyak kali sgt.

Grad of Diploma in Education and now I have two diploma and a bachelor. And I think it is not enough. I have to work out to reach further level.

The registration on 26th May but I reach KL on 25th. Met Zarul and Abe Le at MidValley and we spent the time with chit chatting while shopping…. Pot pet pot pet all the time… maklum la dah 5 bulan tak jumpa..

I’ve been posted to rural area but they are much rural than mine.. haha.. tapi semua kaya dengan elaun yang tak tau nak abiskan macamana.. I reached Setiawangsa at 11.00pm. Chit chatting some more dengan Naniey pulak. Sehingga aku rasa aku patut tido sebab esok kena pegi daftar kat Putrajaya…

On the Registration day – it was like a reunion party. I fetch Kak Lida and Joy at Setiwangsa LRT. We went for breakfast and head to Putrajaya. Since it was a centralized event, it was not just us IPBArian at Perbadanan Putrajaya but also all the grad teachers of Central region colleges.

Berselok-selok jumpa kawan2 lama. Compare saiz badan masing2. Compare perubahan warna kulit. Ape lagi la nak compare.. oh, compare duit gaji kitorang di Semenanjung dengan diorang2 yang belayar ke seberang… tak de keje lain…

Hang out having lunch at Alamanda.. drop by at Perbadanan Putrajaya again for rehearsal. Janji pukul 2pm tapi bila pukul 3 tak start lagi, aku & Kak Lida blah. Bosan betul dengan acara2 lembap yang boleh melambatkan acara shopping kitorang.

We head to IKEA – shop for wedding presents. IKANO – shop for own stuffs and lepak lagi kat The Curve for coffee.

Tidak habis setakat itu, drop sekejap kat jalan TAR.. beli tudung & panjangkan langkah menghabiskan duit kat Sogo. Kak Lida seronok la shopping baju untuk Alya tapi aku tak ketinggalan menghabiskan duit secara tak pasal2 untuk Alif & Aqeef. Rezeki diorang…….

Mujur jugak tuhan wujudkan rasa letih pada diri manusia… lepas beli makanan for dinner, terus balik…

Sampai umah, borak2 lagi dengan Naniey & tido.. aku perlukan tido yang cukup agar kelihatan jelita pada hari bahagia esok… huhu..

Convocation is a convocation. Penat je buat baju cantik2 akhirnya terselindung jugak di bawah jubah. We had hundred snaps since entering the building, while waiting, in the hall, outside the hall, tengah2 jalan, dekat parking…

Since I’m alone that day without my parents, I decided to back to Temerloh just after the ceremony. Dengan perut yang lapar, singgah kejap lunch dengan my bou and balik serta berehat macam baru lepas membajak sawah…

alone & bored...

2009-06-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

In this second semester, I’ll stay at this house alone for two months. My dear housemate will deliver her baby anytime from now but until today (25th june) she is still not, even though it has been 5 days further than her due date. The baby is happy staying inside there I think.. anyway, all the best to Ema.

Hah… I’m bored and still looking for something that can release this dilemma.. Games. Novells. Magazines. Extra classes. Wat else? I have to find the solution. And it is with me!!

I hope these two months won’t long… blink blink blink… I hope Ema will come back earlier than I hope. I can’t stand staying here with my lips zipped. I don’t have anyone to talk other than talking to the phone. Itu pun kalau ade orang call…

Ema, all the best. Waiting for your cute little baby.

Fadilah, stand up and move!!

HOLA ALL

2009-06-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a very long time I leave this blog. So many thing to write on but I have so many things to think.. haha.. wat an excuse.. im not concerntrating actually.. LOC..

I cant recall when was the last time I drop by on this journal.. but I think I had left a lot to share a lot to speak out and a lot to scream, shout loud!!!!!!!!!!

MARCH maybe..

His birthday in April… Teacher’s Day in May.. our Jejak Kasih project also in April.. (mayb)… our Sports Day also in the same month. I will publish a few of my great moments snapped.. I just let time flies and wasted..

I have to wake up!!! Come on Fadilah. U have no time to party left. I dunno why but I’d just let all the good time and money gone. Just like that.

Whats wrong with me?!!!

bosan.. dibosani.. membosankan..

2009-03-10T00:06:00.000-07:00

hollaa..

ermm.. tak tau nak bt pe. routine terlalu konsisten. kurang menarik..

petang2 lepas sekolah macam ni mmg tak tau nak bt pe selain tido. lepas lunch kat kedai pakcik zali, trus blk umah... aktiviti biasa - laundry, mandi, zuhur, tido atau online atau bt keje skolah, ptg sikit kuar umah bakar sampah (hobi baru aku kat sini).. slama ni tak pnh pun bakar sampah, tetiba kat sini dpt sawan bakar sampah plk. kalau tak bakar sampah, lepak je la. layan anak jiran bernama along yang sungguh bijak mulutnye.. dia je la kawan kitorang kat sini. cikgu yang dok ujung tu bukan nak kawan ngan orang. ooops.. namanye cikgu tapi tak mesra alam langsung.

klu lapar petang2, kitorang g la lepak kat kedai mak ngah kat kuala medang nih. makan goreng pisang ke laksa ke yang bole tahan la rasanye.. and kat kampung ni kitorang je (aku & ema) yang lepak kedai. pompuan lain mana ade. sama la jgk klu aku kat umah. takkan la aku nak lepak kat kedai makan kat simpang tu kan..

mujur jugak la jiran ujung belah sana rajin jugak ajak g beraktiviti dengan org kampung & penah la aku join skali. sronok sbnrnye tapi sehari selepas aku join tu adalah hari pasar malam. jadi, tumpuan aku lebih kepada mengunjungi pasar malam di waktu petang rabu.

jam 7 adalah waktu yang dinanti..

cepat mandi, maghrib dan yang paling aku banggakan adalah aku lebih banyak mengaji di sini. utk memenuhi masa sebelum isyak kerana lepas tu kitorang dah bsedia utk tido dan berjumpa dengan hari esok...

tu la kebiasaannya.. tapi hari ni aku di depan laptop mengetuk kekunci papan kekunci lagi. kejap lagi mungkin tido kot. memikirkan hari esok yg akan berlalu agak cepat sebab kitorang ada mesyuarat PIBG petang esok. seperti biasa, aku dah dapat jawatan tetap dan berpencen dlm organisasi kokurikulum kat skolah ni - mengacarakan majlis!! tahniah.. org bole borak2 time majlis, aku kena la dok buat muka prihatin dan fokus kepada acara..

ema mungkin dah tido kat bilik sebelah.. aku juga perlu menikmati saat ni..

ada masa nanti aku bercerita...

Welcome to Kuala Lipis, Dila!!

2009-03-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

03.01.2009 (SATURDAY)

Left home around 6.30 am. Went there with 2 cars – mine and my abah’s. Initially, I planned to find a house to rent as soon as I know the place, I mean the school. So, I bring all my stuff in my car and my parents just accompanying me as they also wanted to know the place.

I thought it would take 3 hours to reach K.Lipis but actually it is just an hour and half. Tak la jauh sgt rupenye.. dalam hati penuh debaran.. im not very familiar with kuala lipis ape lagi la dengan betau..

Taklimat (again) at PPD and been introduced to our GPK 1, Cikgu Wan Mahassan. Muka dia macam ustaz and hes quite serious. He asked us (me and Ema) to go to school because just both of us who still don’t have a place to stay. Secepat mungkin Ema packed up and checked out wif her husband and myself? – membeli bekalan keperluan secukupnya sbb takut betau tu sangat ulu dan sukar dijumpai bekalan2 pelik aku…

Met Ema at Masjid Felda Sg Koyan, we head to Betau. The GPK said its just about 22km from Sg Koyan to the school. Jeng.. jeng.. jeng.. hujan lebat kuredahi demi mendidik anak bangsa.. (macam la redah ujan jalan kaki..). seronok jugak route kat sini sbb jalan cantik ala2 highway and tak byk kete at all.

As soon as we enter the school gate, mak said ‘Duduk luar la.. kat dalam ni sunyi sangat’, refers to my accommodation.. yes, I do agree wif her. We met our GPK 1 at school. All of the teachers are there because they had their 1st meeting on the same day. Met guru besar, our HEM, bla.. bla.. bla.. our GPK 1 said there is a lady teacher staying alone at Sg Koyan but she already went back.. gosh, wat about us? Our issue of accommodation still pending… I can stand staying inside this area..

I went back home and will go bak to lipis on the next day…

First Step to New World

2009-03-09T07:35:00.001-07:00

02.01.2009 (FRIDAY)

I left my brother in law’s house about 7.15 am because I don’t know the exact location of Wisma Belia at Indera Mahkota. Drop by at 7E to buy some bread and chocolate milk as my breakfast. Directed by Kak Akmar, I reached Wisma around 7.50 am. The letter wrote that the briefing will start at 8 but we just allowed to get into the hall around 8.15 am. The registration was quite a chaos. There were only 2 counters to accommodate 387 new teachers and they keep on complaining about “ini lah kali pertama taklimat kita dimulakan lewat dari jam 8.30 pagi”…. APAKAH?

Taklimat after taklimat diperdengarkan. They will give us the posting letter just after our teabreak (brunch actually!!). I did not take the brunch because there were more and more butterflies came into my stomach.

And again, just a few counters opened to accommodate us and the space was really BIGGGGGGG. I got the letter – jeng, jeng, jeng… I dunno which line stated my school. Dumb me!! It can’t be seen because I was too nervous until my roommate at college (joy got the same state with kak akmar and me also) pointed her finger to the name of SK RPS BETAU (JHEOA), 27200 KUALA LIPIS.

Can u read that? Ok, sekolah orang asli. What da fish!! And I don’t know where the place is. I called my mum, she said she also dunno the place. Called my falah, he just laughed (thank you, falah) but told me that its ok. Met a friend who got the same school, Ema yang bermuka sedih. Met Kak Zan who got the same school and she lives at the nearest place to Betau. Im quite fine with her explanation about the school. The PPD told us to report to the PPD office at 8.30am tomorrow (06.01.2009).. omg, hari ni suruh kitorang p kuantan, pastu pagi esok p lipis plk? Demi anak bangsa, ku turutkan…

Had our lunch at Black Canyon, EC Mall and run back to my home. Niat dihati nak service kete – tak sempat. Balik rumah, tido jap. Malam keluar isi minyak kereta, beli barang skit (padahal g dating), blk lmbat, mak marah (padan muka aku), packed my bags and sleep because we (my parents and I) will leave home just after Subuh.

See u Lipis..

IM SPEECHLESS!!

2009-03-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

holla everybody..

tak perasan adi leave comment - entri br mana? haha.. ni yg terbaru la nih..

agak terkelu dan terkedu buat masa ni. terlalu banyak cerita menarik sampai tak tercerita. nanti la kengkawan, akanku titipkan kisahku di tempat baru ini..

i wrote a short journal actually. will post them after this...

have fun sharing frens...

xoxo

04 & 05.11.2008 ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHING METHODOLOGY

2008-11-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

finally...
my days as an IPBArian is over. sat for our final final exam paper today and this time, the questions were tough. i dunno how many correct answers that i gave but i no a lot of the wrong one been written by my own lefthand using my Pilot blue pen. at least i know i won't fail...

we went for shopping after the exam. with an intention to reward our selves after this hectic year... (do we have to reward our ownself every single week?).. alasan la tu kan.. i planned to buy two bags as my school bag for the school term next year but i cant find any attractive bag.

but i was excellently completed my mission to buy new blouse and i took 2 for me and another two for my sis eventhough i'd been warned by Mak not to shop for clothes again or else the wordrobe will explode some day.. ampun mak, nafsu telah mengatasi ingatan tentang pesananmu itu. oh, dont forget my elegant Burberry keychain, i really like it!! verrrry much..

and i am currently on my bed. tired.. i have to sleep earlier today i think. a lot of things need to be settled tomorrow...

see ya again...

03.11.2008 ilmu pendidikan

2008-11-03T00:08:00.000-08:00

we sat for our 1st final exam paper today and it was an Educational Studies.

overall, the question was not too difficult but is was not easy at all. the section A was tricky. multiple questions. the answer was there but it was tooooooooo difficult to choose. but i did complete all the answers. either it is right or wrong.. haha..

aktiviti gorengan seperti biasa. i did the answers using common sense. apa kau ingat psikologi itu teori kau.. i almost found my own theory during the exam.. huhu.. (According to Fadilah (Nov,2008)...). everything went well. i hope i will pass this paper... at least...

straight after the exam (11.30 am), we head to MidValley. planned to buy some needs (again) as our preparation to our Biro TataNegara (BTN) this Thursday. had our lunch at TCRS. head to Jusco and back to IPBA.

checked my mail. checked my mission.. perform solat and here i am again... blogging yang tak seberapa. i have to revise again tonite for my English Language Teaching Methodology (ELTM) Paper 1 (covers on Proficiency and Language Studies, oh my...). a lot of topics to cover. i still didn't master and not even learn the phonetic symbol... i have to focus on grammar... mak, kenapa perlu ada exam...

ok guys. wish me luck. semoga ketabahan mengiringi perjalananku malam ini...

p/s: can't wait for another responses... huhu..

sesi luahan perasaan

2008-11-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

i was on YM today and found my fren there. they (he and his wife) was my colleagues at my former workplace. we did a lot of reflections today and it was all about my life actually..

i told them the actual story and thanks for them because they are the only party who asks me this question. "Why did u really hate that bitch? what happened?".. as i know they are educated people, i am very open to them today. i told them all the stories... from A to Z. i can't bear to hold this alone. i need support. and i am currently strong and tough with my new status. and i want people to know the things and what happened actually...

they advice me a lot. to find a better person and i will definitely do that..

i realize that - i did a lot but i got nothing. i did a lot of sacrifice but it had not been appreciated. i always think about others without considering my own feeling.

i will ignore all those bitter moments and all those annoying creatures...

here i am, an excellent Fadilah with brave and big heart...

thank you to both of them.

p/s: remember frens, biar jahat asal jangan sundal..!! huhu

Bukan mudah jadi Cikgu 2

2008-11-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

IPBA banyak ajar aku tentang kemuliaan keje seorang guru. Hari pertama menjlani kuliah kat sini, kitorang semua ditanya soalan yang sama – “Wny do you want to be a teacher?” – “Why did you chose this profession?”… bagi aku, soalan ni amat mencabar. Terlalu. Tak tau nak jawab pe tapi bagi setiap lecturer yang mengajukn soalan tu aku jawab ; “Teaching is a noble job”.

Sebagai seorang yang penah bekerja selain dari profession keguruan, then belajar menjadi guru dan pernah menjalani latihan praktikal kat skolah, kini baru aku tau nak pegang title guru ni bukanlah perkara mudah macam yang aku sangka sebelum ni. Kalau aku rasa camtu, ape lagi la persepsi orang lain yang selama ni slalu sangat kondem guru-guru kat Malaysia ni.

Dulu aku ingatkan jadi cikgu ni mudah – g skolah, ngajar (yang rasanya bukanlah perkara susah sangat), handle ko-kurikulum, handle program skolah, bg balik skolah tengahari, petang bole tido kat umah, rilek.. rilek.. rilek.. ujung bulan dapat gaji.

Tapi semua tanggapan aku tu salah dan sangat salah!!

Masa belaja nak jadi cikgu ni, baru la aku tau peritnye nak bentuk seorang cikgu. Cikgu kena blaja subjek opsyen dengan jayanye – belajar hingga ke akar umbi, subjek minor pun lbh kurang gtu la jgk, cikgu kena blaja psikologi pendidikan yang sangat banyak to adapt with school environment, cikgu tetap kena blaja pendidikan alam sekitar, pendidikan islam dan moral, cikgu2 ni tetap kena belaja pendidikan jasmani – melompat berlari main gelung, main bola – sama macam time skolah rendah dulu.. dan macam2 lagi la future teacher kena buat sebelum betul lepas nak jadi cikgu.

Keadaan sebenar kat skolah (walaupun aku penah dok skolah 3 bulan je) – datang kena seawal pagi, assembly pagi (hari2) cikgu wajib attend, masuk clas dan mengajar – cikgu praktikal macam aku dulu akan masuk clas sejam je sehari, maksudnya satu class je untuk sehari tapi cikgu betul kena masuk 6 class sehari means 6 jam untuk sehari sesi sekolah. Bayangkan ada cikgu tu kadang-kadang ada waktu bernafas time budak-budak rehat pagi je. Dah abis ngajar, keje cikgu belum tentu abis lagi – mesyuarat sekurang-kurangnya sekali seminggu (selebih-lebihnya kadang2 ari2), setiap rabu confirm ada ko-kurikulum yang semua cikgu wajib attend. Agak rehat biasanya time jumaat je.

Balik umah – petang confirm cikgu tido.. try tanya guru2 Malaysia yang lain. Aku time ngajar dulu, lepas balik skolah, settle keje pape yang patut, then tido… itu pasti. Petang tu kira aktiviti sendiri la kan. Malam – lesson plan (rancangan mengajar) kena buat. Lesson plan ni adalah satu dokumen wajib yang cikgu-cikgu kena buat sebelum masuk class. Apa yang akan di ajar esok, topic ape, apa yg budak2 akan capai, curriculum spec kementerian kena ikut, aktiviti kena ikut student’s level, worksheet kena sediakan (kalau budak 3 level – bijak, sederhana, lemah – maka 3 jenis worksheet la kena buat) – itu untuk satu class, kalau sehari cikgu ajar 5 hingga 6 class?

Dalam class – cikgu tak boleh duduk, cikgu kena pastikan anak murid dapat apa yang dia ajar. Cikgu kena control class. Cikgu kena tahan kerenah budak-budak yang tak seberapa baiknya tu. Cikgu kena uruskan budak pandai yang byk tanya. Kena pastikan budak lemah faham apa yang disampaikan. Kena pastikan diorang tak bergaduh. Masalah nak kencing la, nak berak la, nak kuar g tandas la, nak bertumbuk la… segala pergerakan murid skolah dalam kawasan sekolah semua di bawah tanggungjawab cikgu.

Tu tak kira lagi parents complaint. Tu tak puas ati, ni tak puas ati. Mintak yuran marah, tapi kalau abiskan duit untuk tuisyen anak tak kisah pulak. Padahal, tuisyen tu sekadar buat latih tubi je sedangkan kat skolah la budak2 ni belajar skill idup.

Tapi, ada ke orang nak hargai cikgu? Komplen pasal cikgu ni terrrrrrrrrrrrlalu banyak. Cikgu sibuk nak naik gaji je la. Nak naik gred la. Cikgu tak reti ajar la. Cikgu tak pandai la. Sume masalah setiap insan dalam dunia nak nak dituding pada cikgu. Tapi, pernah ke kita ni nak mencuba dalam sehari untuk menggantikan tempat diorang? Macamana sorang cikgu nak membentuk 40 orang budak yang pelbagai kerenah dan kemampuan untuk menjadi 40 budak yang cemerlang pelajarannya? Tapi, macamana jugak mak bapak mampu nak bentuk sorang anak dia menjadi cemerlang akademiknya tanpa bantuan cikgu?

Aku akan mula mengajar tahun depan. Dan aku sedar perkara ini menakutkan aku. Tapi aku akan pastikan setiap ilmu tu akan aku sampaikan dengan restu dan kasih sayang untuk setiap kanak-kanak yang aku ajar sebab aku mampu menjadi manusia seperti hari ni bukan aje sbb mak abah tapi jugak kerana didikan cikgu.

stupid for you

2008-10-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

once, i made a mistake and won't do the same again.

It's not everyday
That I find a person quite like you
Perfect every way
I finally found the nerve to confess that it's you - that I want

I don't care if I act a fool
I would damn near beg for you
Set aside, all my pride
So don't keep me hanging here

Cause this girl is falling stupid for you...
Oh, oh stupid for you... The proper thing to do
Is for me to act like a lady and wait
For you to make the first move

But I don't think you're getting the point
That it's you - that I want
I don't care if I act a fool
I would damn near beg for you
Put aside, all my prideSo don't keep me hanging here

Cause this girl is falling stupid for you
Oh, oh stupid for you
Why's it always feel like I am
Chasing love when nothing's there

And here I go just making the same mistakes...
I've fallen stupid for you...
Oh, oh stupid for you... Oh, oh, oh, oh

but remember,
what you give, you will get back!!

Bukan mudah jadi Cikgu 1

2008-10-30T01:15:00.000-07:00

Kenapa aku sertai bidang pendidikan? Menjadi guru bukan la cita2 sebenar aku. Minat pun rasanya tak cenderung sangat ke arah industri ni. Azam aku lepas grad dulu just nak dapatkan keje bagus, duit, kete, harta dan menjadi cikgu bukanlah salah satu daripada pilihan yang aku senaraikan.

Aku mula keje kat Hotel Sri Malaysia Temerloh dalam bulan puasa 2007. My former practical supervisor, Kak Zai offer aku untuk ganti post dia kat situ sebab dia nak benti keje dan start business sendiri. Aku setuju dan memulakan keje dengan belajar, observed dan belajar. Dapat offer lain, aku bla dr HSM and join my former boss at S.Siva & Co. It is a legal firm. Dan duit gaji bukanlah factor utama peralihan aku masa tu. Dalam tengah keje kat legal firm tu, akak aku sibuk pasal KPLI n my mum asked me to do the same. Aku buat aje seperti yang disarankan – apply pin no., online form and tunggu MTest.

Aku p MTest pada hari yang sama kawan ofis aku kawin. Aku ingat sangat time tu sebab aku jawab exam cepat2 dan nak pastikan aku tak terlambat time pengantin berarak. (Farah yang mintak KPLI pun tak dapat amik test sbb dia kawin laaaa…). MTest bulan 5, tak lama pastu dapat interview. On July 2007, aku p interview kat Maktab K.Lipis. Agak jauh la sbb tak biasa pegi tempat tu. Interview on Tuesday, but from Sunday to Monday before that I was in KL – hang out wif my bf ( it was at that time) and shoppingggggggg… tak sedar diri betul ketika itu.

Lepas interview, aku keje macam biasa tanpa apa2 persepsi bahawa aku akan diterima untuk KPLI nih. Tapi pada 19.12.2007, result KPLI kuar dan aku dapat this course and will be placed at Institut Perguruan Bahasa-Bahasa Antarabangsa(IPBA). Opsyen: Pengajian Inggeris. Aku terima dengan hati gembira. Orang dpt KPLI, aku dapat jugak tapi aku pegi dengan jiwa, dada dan otak yang kosong tanpa sebarang pengetahuan tentang bidang ni apatah lagi aku ni bukan la master dalam bahasa kedua Negara kita ni.

sambung next entry la eh.. tiba2 rasa nak tido..

why am i sooooooooooo lazy?

2008-10-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

holla frens..

im ere again in my college. arrived ere around 1.30pm.. my first mission was to join my frens on this becoming exam revision but.. i just managed to revise on a few learning theory before again, went out to MidValley..

as im an informal embassador of MidValley (huhu), i have to visit that place everyday. to see how my place goes on. i went there to meet Hairi for some important business. we (Kak Akmar & me) went to Carrefour to buy the needs. Jusco - Sushi. La Boheme - breads and we have to wait for a looooooooong queue to get our taxi. tq to the driver for almost leaving me behind before i entered the car.

and now, im still ere on my bed. onlining.. chatting with my new fren @ facebook. "Hye adi.". ntoh ye ntoh dok la nama aok adi.. rakan sekampung rupanya.. and i even don't know that there are a lot of my frens (in semantan neighbourhood) have facebook until adi introduce them to me (and that bitch's boy also has one, ok). tq adi di atas jejak kasihan ini..

my rummate, Kak Akmar now screamiiingggggg from another room asking me to revise, revise, revise. but i am ere akak... promising myself that i dont want to do any revision until 30th November, 2008..

oh, aku perlu iron baju utk ke kelas esok hari...

sekian, tq.

macam2..

2008-10-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

A lot of things to be settled today and I have a few activities as well to complete my day.. hehe..

1. Revise, revise, revise
2. Send adik to terminal
3. Hair cutting
4. Buy things to BTN
5. Check my stationeries and buy if any less
6. Hang out with CT (again..)

It is not a lot actually.. just a few things.. huhu.

I failed to settle No. 1 – can’t find any momentum to start.. Excuses again, dyll!!

Done No. 2 to 5.

Excellently completed No. 6.

CT fetched me at home. We went to town to buy her husband’s socks (for futsal game on the same nite). We met Yanti at our favourite restaurant – had my hot chicken soup.. yummy.. Met Haslam (CT’s hubby) @ his workplace to give him his sport attire) and we went straight to the carwash – Kak Yong’s stall operating at the carwash site on evening and they have open air karaoke set.. As there were girls outing – me alone and CT & Yanti without husband – crazy CT (again) suggested a karaoke session. This is my fav, girls.. haha. We did the same on my birthday actually, (Oh, my birthday is on 24th) and this is the opportunity to do the same. Since it is an open session, we were quite shy (really?) to perform to non-friends audience.. PERASAN!!!.. I chose Mahakarya Cinta but the track couldn’t be played, and Gantung by Melly couldn’t be played in mono mode.. Tq for the tracks..

I asked Kak Yong to sing Killing Me Softly with me and she has a good voice, ok. This is my first time singing this song.. and other crazy karaoke singing begin – we sang a full 10 dangdut songs.. We want to make those hours meaningful because the boys will finish their gae around 1.

At 1, the boys came and again I sang another one song. Kita Insan Biasa with Yantie’s husband, Busu. The same verse repeated until I get bored and sang my own melody.. My mum called at 1.30 asked me to reflect myself & realize where am I.. (Balik sekarang, dah pukul 1).. That was my final song for the nite and reached home at 2.. If it was not because the karaoke man have to work 5am on the next day, we might do our concert till dawn… or until the neighbourhood on the opposite site kill us…

Oh, I met Kak Shida (my former colleage) at Haslam’s workplace before while waiting for him. Did chit chatting about few things and I realized that she knows my sad untold story.. I hope she understand my stand and my problem with that Sundal.. oops.. I dunno why this type of woman still exist in this educated high-tech and open world.. and they act like it was no wrong with what they did to me… ooops again…
Past is past and I am fine ere but someone will be paid with the same to her relationship.. Just wait and see, bitch.. huhu

Overly expression already.. bubye frens..

Muahhsss..

today

2008-10-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

1.55am

just read a fren's blog.. tak tau pun aok ade blog wai. dunno wat to do other than surfing n surfing dan belayar serta meluncur lagi.. i am using my in law's broadband actually.. n my mak wont membebel when she sees me surfing and keep on increasing the amount to pay in her bill..

keadaan idup agak biasa pada hari ini. mak woke me up at 7.++am this morning. it was too early for me. its sunday ok. hari ahad adalah hari untuk tido walaupun ari2 aku tido andai ada masa terluang. abah went to pekan sari and suddenly, tayar motornya pancit selepas membeli nasi lemak kukus yang enak di Restoran Azhar.. you should try this. so i met him at one of the workshop.. bring back the breakfast and head to home.. itu je? bgn pagi, mandi, tukar baju, pakai bedak, pakai tudung cantik2 untuk amik nasi lemak sotong yang enak tu je. kalau sambung tido tadi mesti dah abis 2 episode cite. so as a reward sempena aku bangun awal pad hari AHAD - i bought myself InTrend, blackcurrent juice n anlene ape ntah tu at 7E..

read the mag, had breakfast & start surfing. delete previous blog, create new blog, make up blog tu skit and blogging la konon... at 5pm - my sis ajak kuar nak beli beg ape ntah. dah namanya anak jutawan brunei, ade je idea nak ngabiskan duit. kemananya tumpah nasi yang aku masak kalau bukan dalam pinggan adik aku.. huhu..

malam berazam nak baca buku - i repeat it again - nak baca buku a.k.a to read the educational studies book as a preparation for my EXAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! but till this moment - hajat itu tidak kesampaian kerana aku tetap mengadap skrin laptop ini tanpa dapat apa-apa faedah pun selain dari YMing & membaca blog wai tadi tu la...

bilik dah gelap. tapi aku tetap depan laptop ni.. wai pun dah offline. to enter chat room? no way... no more true man in Malaysia, i guess. they keep on ask about sex, sex and sex.. what else?

i will send a gudnite wish for my fren after this and sleep!!

and bubye..
mmmuaahsss..

i should reflect myself after all this thing..

2008-10-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

Honestly say… I am looking for an honest sincere man for my life. Is there any one of them there? Along my life… it was quite hard to find a man with care and sincerity. It sounds quite demanding but I keep wondering why I am the one who still cannot find one with these criteria. Why they go to other women? Or is it me – who is also not a good lady/girl/woman for them? Urm.. maybe.. I should think about this..

Looked at wedding pictures of friend or friend’s friend, I always thinking on why I can’t get any soulmate like them… I am not so desperate but I need a man in my life. I am not looking for marriage so soon but at least have a friend, brother, father, lover, enemy to share thought, laugh, cry… to fight, to care, to argue..

I do admit that I am not a very good girl but I am a loyal lover. I will do everything for my love and will do my best to make sure we are live in happiness along our relationship.. Don’t believe it? Ask my ex… huhu.. But what I got in return? Dissappointment.. uhuk.. uhuk.. I don’t want to bring all those bad things on but I have to think on the factors influenced all these disappointment.. I found a man who was not womanizer but he is tooooooooo jealousy.. we broke. I found a man who was patient and nice but he recalls his sweet memories back, and we broke. Why can’t I find a moderate nice man? Or am I a person who attracted to bad boys? Urrmm…

I always remember a quote sent by my BFF:

“Tuhan turunkan kita hujan sebab Dia nak bagi kita pelangi”

Ya.. it is might be true. And along this failed relationship which I expected will ended with ‘I do, I do’ Ijab and Kabul, I realize that, I have to think about my ownself before I do care and love someone else. But this is my nature.. I am a full of love type of person. I love to express my feeling, I like to appreciate and appreciations.. I love to pamper people I love and being pampered.. I like to care about my love and being cared…and this thing happen not just for my BF because I do the same to my friend and that is why I am fragile.. I won’t let others try to ruin the relationship but what can I do if the other party is on the sundal-ness side?

come on dyll, you can leave the sadness and live in better life. Its time to think about work, work, work.. improving myself towards happiness..

whats wrong with me?

2008-10-26T04:13:00.001-07:00

hye frens..

i am currently on my holiday of Deepavali and definitely I am at home to spend my 5 days off. sound kewl, huh. but i will have a biggggggggggggggg event of my life as an old student just after this holiday. EXAMINATION. i was used with this phenomenon during my old days as young student but this time is different.

i am enggage into KPLI (post-grad teaching course) for this whole year and i am back to class, lectures and friends. we will have to do and get Diploma in Education to permit us to teach at school by 2009.. and this is the climax - EXAMINATION!! and i think i am the one who still do not open even a page of my new revision book. huhu and i promise to do so tonite, ok. tonite.

my days ere spent with outing ang hanging out with frens. bring my sister to buy her thing, bring mum to bank, buy groceries or in another word is - as a driver. i need an activity with frens on day but unfortunately, all of my frens ere are working and will just have time to spend with me on evening. so, i will 'lepaking' again n again each nite ere till about 1.30 a.m...

a few things happen to me ere. and the most hated thing is - to feel sad and lonely. i am facing a problem with my heart. i cant stand the situation. trying my best to avoid and ignore it by doing something else or hanging out with frens but i will jump into that hell again when they are not with me.. they also have their own things to do, ok. and whats wrong with me actually?

Holla guys...

2008-10-26T04:07:00.000-07:00

Hello frens..

Finally I managed to publish my new blog. I had one before but because of security purposes, it had been deleted by my ownself.. huhu..

So fren, let us talk, share and laugh together here. I need your support and I will try my very best to post as frequent as possible. To share and to care.. will i?

It is good to start a new life with new status and environment. I am new Fadilah with my own surname without any illegal combination.

See ya, fren..
Mmuahhhs..