stupid for you

once, i made a mistake and won't do the same again.

It's not everyday
That I find a person quite like you
Perfect every way
I finally found the nerve to confess that it's you - that I want

I don't care if I act a fool
I would damn near beg for you
Set aside, all my pride
So don't keep me hanging here

Cause this girl is falling stupid for you...
Oh, oh stupid for you... The proper thing to do
Is for me to act like a lady and wait
For you to make the first move

But I don't think you're getting the point
That it's you - that I want
I don't care if I act a fool
I would damn near beg for you
Put aside, all my prideSo don't keep me hanging here

Cause this girl is falling stupid for you
Oh, oh stupid for you
Why's it always feel like I am
Chasing love when nothing's there

And here I go just making the same mistakes...
I've fallen stupid for you...
Oh, oh stupid for you... Oh, oh, oh, oh

but remember,
what you give, you will get back!!

Bukan mudah jadi Cikgu 1

Kenapa aku sertai bidang pendidikan? Menjadi guru bukan la cita2 sebenar aku. Minat pun rasanya tak cenderung sangat ke arah industri ni. Azam aku lepas grad dulu just nak dapatkan keje bagus, duit, kete, harta dan menjadi cikgu bukanlah salah satu daripada pilihan yang aku senaraikan.

Aku mula keje kat Hotel Sri Malaysia Temerloh dalam bulan puasa 2007. My former practical supervisor, Kak Zai offer aku untuk ganti post dia kat situ sebab dia nak benti keje dan start business sendiri. Aku setuju dan memulakan keje dengan belajar, observed dan belajar. Dapat offer lain, aku bla dr HSM and join my former boss at S.Siva & Co. It is a legal firm. Dan duit gaji bukanlah factor utama peralihan aku masa tu. Dalam tengah keje kat legal firm tu, akak aku sibuk pasal KPLI n my mum asked me to do the same. Aku buat aje seperti yang disarankan – apply pin no., online form and tunggu MTest.

Aku p MTest pada hari yang sama kawan ofis aku kawin. Aku ingat sangat time tu sebab aku jawab exam cepat2 dan nak pastikan aku tak terlambat time pengantin berarak. (Farah yang mintak KPLI pun tak dapat amik test sbb dia kawin laaaa…). MTest bulan 5, tak lama pastu dapat interview. On July 2007, aku p interview kat Maktab K.Lipis. Agak jauh la sbb tak biasa pegi tempat tu. Interview on Tuesday, but from Sunday to Monday before that I was in KL – hang out wif my bf ( it was at that time) and shoppingggggggg… tak sedar diri betul ketika itu.

Lepas interview, aku keje macam biasa tanpa apa2 persepsi bahawa aku akan diterima untuk KPLI nih. Tapi pada 19.12.2007, result KPLI kuar dan aku dapat this course and will be placed at Institut Perguruan Bahasa-Bahasa Antarabangsa(IPBA). Opsyen: Pengajian Inggeris. Aku terima dengan hati gembira. Orang dpt KPLI, aku dapat jugak tapi aku pegi dengan jiwa, dada dan otak yang kosong tanpa sebarang pengetahuan tentang bidang ni apatah lagi aku ni bukan la master dalam bahasa kedua Negara kita ni.

sambung next entry la eh.. tiba2 rasa nak tido..

why am i sooooooooooo lazy?

holla frens..

im ere again in my college. arrived ere around 1.30pm.. my first mission was to join my frens on this becoming exam revision but.. i just managed to revise on a few learning theory before again, went out to MidValley..

as im an informal embassador of MidValley (huhu), i have to visit that place everyday. to see how my place goes on. i went there to meet Hairi for some important business. we (Kak Akmar & me) went to Carrefour to buy the needs. Jusco - Sushi. La Boheme - breads and we have to wait for a looooooooong queue to get our taxi. tq to the driver for almost leaving me behind before i entered the car.

and now, im still ere on my bed. onlining.. chatting with my new fren @ facebook. "Hye adi.". ntoh ye ntoh dok la nama aok adi.. rakan sekampung rupanya.. and i even don't know that there are a lot of my frens (in semantan neighbourhood) have facebook until adi introduce them to me (and that bitch's boy also has one, ok). tq adi di atas jejak kasihan ini..

my rummate, Kak Akmar now screamiiingggggg from another room asking me to revise, revise, revise. but i am ere akak... promising myself that i dont want to do any revision until 30th November, 2008..

oh, aku perlu iron baju utk ke kelas esok hari...

sekian, tq.

macam2..

A lot of things to be settled today and I have a few activities as well to complete my day.. hehe..

1. Revise, revise, revise
2. Send adik to terminal
3. Hair cutting
4. Buy things to BTN
5. Check my stationeries and buy if any less
6. Hang out with CT (again..)

It is not a lot actually.. just a few things.. huhu.

I failed to settle No. 1 – can’t find any momentum to start.. Excuses again, dyll!!

Done No. 2 to 5.

Excellently completed No. 6.

CT fetched me at home. We went to town to buy her husband’s socks (for futsal game on the same nite). We met Yanti at our favourite restaurant – had my hot chicken soup.. yummy.. Met Haslam (CT’s hubby) @ his workplace to give him his sport attire) and we went straight to the carwash – Kak Yong’s stall operating at the carwash site on evening and they have open air karaoke set.. As there were girls outing – me alone and CT & Yanti without husband – crazy CT (again) suggested a karaoke session. This is my fav, girls.. haha. We did the same on my birthday actually, (Oh, my birthday is on 24th) and this is the opportunity to do the same. Since it is an open session, we were quite shy (really?) to perform to non-friends audience.. PERASAN!!!.. I chose Mahakarya Cinta but the track couldn’t be played, and Gantung by Melly couldn’t be played in mono mode.. Tq for the tracks..

I asked Kak Yong to sing Killing Me Softly with me and she has a good voice, ok. This is my first time singing this song.. and other crazy karaoke singing begin – we sang a full 10 dangdut songs.. We want to make those hours meaningful because the boys will finish their gae around 1.

At 1, the boys came and again I sang another one song. Kita Insan Biasa with Yantie’s husband, Busu. The same verse repeated until I get bored and sang my own melody.. My mum called at 1.30 asked me to reflect myself & realize where am I.. (Balik sekarang, dah pukul 1).. That was my final song for the nite and reached home at 2.. If it was not because the karaoke man have to work 5am on the next day, we might do our concert till dawn… or until the neighbourhood on the opposite site kill us…

Oh, I met Kak Shida (my former colleage) at Haslam’s workplace before while waiting for him. Did chit chatting about few things and I realized that she knows my sad untold story.. I hope she understand my stand and my problem with that Sundal.. oops.. I dunno why this type of woman still exist in this educated high-tech and open world.. and they act like it was no wrong with what they did to me… ooops again…
Past is past and I am fine ere but someone will be paid with the same to her relationship.. Just wait and see, bitch.. huhu

Overly expression already.. bubye frens..

Muahhsss..

today

1.55am

just read a fren's blog.. tak tau pun aok ade blog wai. dunno wat to do other than surfing n surfing dan belayar serta meluncur lagi.. i am using my in law's broadband actually.. n my mak wont membebel when she sees me surfing and keep on increasing the amount to pay in her bill..

keadaan idup agak biasa pada hari ini. mak woke me up at 7.++am this morning. it was too early for me. its sunday ok. hari ahad adalah hari untuk tido walaupun ari2 aku tido andai ada masa terluang. abah went to pekan sari and suddenly, tayar motornya pancit selepas membeli nasi lemak kukus yang enak di Restoran Azhar.. you should try this. so i met him at one of the workshop.. bring back the breakfast and head to home.. itu je? bgn pagi, mandi, tukar baju, pakai bedak, pakai tudung cantik2 untuk amik nasi lemak sotong yang enak tu je. kalau sambung tido tadi mesti dah abis 2 episode cite. so as a reward sempena aku bangun awal pad hari AHAD - i bought myself InTrend, blackcurrent juice n anlene ape ntah tu at 7E..

read the mag, had breakfast & start surfing. delete previous blog, create new blog, make up blog tu skit and blogging la konon... at 5pm - my sis ajak kuar nak beli beg ape ntah. dah namanya anak jutawan brunei, ade je idea nak ngabiskan duit. kemananya tumpah nasi yang aku masak kalau bukan dalam pinggan adik aku.. huhu..

malam berazam nak baca buku - i repeat it again - nak baca buku a.k.a to read the educational studies book as a preparation for my EXAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! but till this moment - hajat itu tidak kesampaian kerana aku tetap mengadap skrin laptop ini tanpa dapat apa-apa faedah pun selain dari YMing & membaca blog wai tadi tu la...

bilik dah gelap. tapi aku tetap depan laptop ni.. wai pun dah offline. to enter chat room? no way... no more true man in Malaysia, i guess. they keep on ask about sex, sex and sex.. what else?

i will send a gudnite wish for my fren after this and sleep!!

and bubye..
mmmuaahsss..

i should reflect myself after all this thing..

Honestly say… I am looking for an honest sincere man for my life. Is there any one of them there? Along my life… it was quite hard to find a man with care and sincerity. It sounds quite demanding but I keep wondering why I am the one who still cannot find one with these criteria. Why they go to other women? Or is it me – who is also not a good lady/girl/woman for them? Urm.. maybe.. I should think about this..

Looked at wedding pictures of friend or friend’s friend, I always thinking on why I can’t get any soulmate like them… I am not so desperate but I need a man in my life. I am not looking for marriage so soon but at least have a friend, brother, father, lover, enemy to share thought, laugh, cry… to fight, to care, to argue..

I do admit that I am not a very good girl but I am a loyal lover. I will do everything for my love and will do my best to make sure we are live in happiness along our relationship.. Don’t believe it? Ask my ex… huhu.. But what I got in return? Dissappointment.. uhuk.. uhuk.. I don’t want to bring all those bad things on but I have to think on the factors influenced all these disappointment.. I found a man who was not womanizer but he is tooooooooo jealousy.. we broke. I found a man who was patient and nice but he recalls his sweet memories back, and we broke. Why can’t I find a moderate nice man? Or am I a person who attracted to bad boys? Urrmm…

I always remember a quote sent by my BFF:

“Tuhan turunkan kita hujan sebab Dia nak bagi kita pelangi”

Ya.. it is might be true. And along this failed relationship which I expected will ended with ‘I do, I do’ Ijab and Kabul, I realize that, I have to think about my ownself before I do care and love someone else. But this is my nature.. I am a full of love type of person. I love to express my feeling, I like to appreciate and appreciations.. I love to pamper people I love and being pampered.. I like to care about my love and being cared…and this thing happen not just for my BF because I do the same to my friend and that is why I am fragile.. I won’t let others try to ruin the relationship but what can I do if the other party is on the sundal-ness side?

come on dyll, you can leave the sadness and live in better life. Its time to think about work, work, work.. improving myself towards happiness..

whats wrong with me?

hye frens..

i am currently on my holiday of Deepavali and definitely I am at home to spend my 5 days off. sound kewl, huh. but i will have a biggggggggggggggg event of my life as an old student just after this holiday. EXAMINATION. i was used with this phenomenon during my old days as young student but this time is different.

i am enggage into KPLI (post-grad teaching course) for this whole year and i am back to class, lectures and friends. we will have to do and get Diploma in Education to permit us to teach at school by 2009.. and this is the climax - EXAMINATION!! and i think i am the one who still do not open even a page of my new revision book. huhu and i promise to do so tonite, ok. tonite.

my days ere spent with outing ang hanging out with frens. bring my sister to buy her thing, bring mum to bank, buy groceries or in another word is - as a driver. i need an activity with frens on day but unfortunately, all of my frens ere are working and will just have time to spend with me on evening. so, i will 'lepaking' again n again each nite ere till about 1.30 a.m...

a few things happen to me ere. and the most hated thing is - to feel sad and lonely. i am facing a problem with my heart. i cant stand the situation. trying my best to avoid and ignore it by doing something else or hanging out with frens but i will jump into that hell again when they are not with me.. they also have their own things to do, ok. and whats wrong with me actually?

Holla guys...

Hello frens..

Finally I managed to publish my new blog. I had one before but because of security purposes, it had been deleted by my ownself.. huhu..

So fren, let us talk, share and laugh together here. I need your support and I will try my very best to post as frequent as possible. To share and to care.. will i?

It is good to start a new life with new status and environment. I am new Fadilah with my own surname without any illegal combination.

See ya, fren..
Mmuahhhs..